Is 69 Years Old Too Old To Need a Mentor? At this age, you would think I would be a mentor instead of needing one. I do serve in that role for a number of family members and some clients but every now and then I need someone to show me the way as well. I am reminded of a movie that I saw a number of years ago about a man who went "middle age crazy" after the death of his father. One statement from that movie sticks in my mind: "I don't wanna be the daddy." Being the "daddy" carries numerous responsibilities that occasionally seem burdensome. Not that I am complaining. I enjoy my role but sometimes I just feel like sneaking away from it and doing something stupid now and then. Fortunately, I still have my dad who is 88 years old, immensely successful, and full of good old common sense wisdom. He is indeed my mentor. But I still miss another mentor who passed away in July of 2000. He was my wife's father, Mr. Nolan Boyd. Another outstanding individual.
Mr. Nolan Was Born On A Farm In Texas in 1913. He was no stranger to manual labor. There was cotton to be picked, grain to be harvested, and stock to be tended. As a teenager, he worked hard in school, read virtually all the books in the small, local library and had aspirations of achieving a college education. Despite his father's objections, he left Texas at 16 and went to Kansas to pursue his dream. He later transferred to North Texas State University in Denton and completed his education. He was obviously a rarity at that time when very few individuals were able to obtain a college degree in the middle of a depression. He taught school at the age of 19. He left teaching and went to work as a retail manager shortly before the start of WWII. He returned to the same job after the war, stayed there the rest of his career, worked hard every day, and raised three children, all of whom were well educated.
The Outstanding Thing About Mr. Nolan was his devotion To His Community. He did everything from selling brooms for the Lions Club to serving on the local school board. He was an elder in his church and taught Sunday School for virtually his entire adult life. At a time when racism was rampant in the south, he was adamant that no one in his family could make derogatory remarks about any ethnic group. He had a very strong set of values and he lived them every day.
I Spent a Lot of Time With Mr. Nolan. He loved the fact that I was his opposite politically and could discuss issues with him for hours without ever getting mad. We spent hours fishing on the dock in back of my house. He taught me a lot by his example. When he died almost 7 years ago, I missed him right away. Over the past few years, I have often wished I could have his counsel on a number of matters.
Ten Years of Journals Have Been Helpful. Mr. Nolan did leave a legacy that has been invaluable to me. He kept a daily journal for almost 10 years. He was a good writer and wrote faithfully almost every day. Last spring, I decided I would read all those journals from beginning to end. I felt I owed it to him but but the main beneficiary turned out to be me. I learned a lot from that first hand account of how he lived his life, made decisions, and decided what was important and what was not. Those journals turned out to be an amazing legacy which can benefit future generations who take the time to read them.
Anna Quindlen Wrote A Recent Newsweek Article About Journals. "Wouldn't all of us love to have a journal , a memoir, a letter, from those we have loved and lost? Shouldn't all of us leave a bit of that behind?" Following Mr. Nolan's example, I started keeping a journal in 1995. I have volumes of dusty old journals in my Colorado townhouse. They have helped me manage my life and make decisions as I decide what's worth writing about each day. They also help me by providing a resource to check back years ago to see what my life was like and how I felt about important issues a long time ago. I hope they will be of value to future family members as they wonder how things were before they were born.
Most Of Us Want to Leave a Legacy For Our Family. All too often we think only of the physical and financial legacy we will leave. Perhaps we should think of the intangibles that often prove to be more valuable than anything else we could leave behind.
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